November Round-up #1: Medical

13228058_849461041825680_672486022_n (2)November’s been a bit of a weird month, but overall, a productive and positive one. After missing out on really celebrating Samhain on 31st October due to an appointment in London that was then subsequently cancelled (when I was already in London, and with no prior notice…), the month didn’t get off to the best of starts.

Traveling when disabled is never fun and never, ever easy. Let alone when going to London of all places, and not for leisure. It’s one thing to toddle to London for a convention (like Nine Worlds in August… which I realise I never actually posted about properly by writing up part two of the review—oops!) and another thing entirely to trek down for one day. For starters, staying in a hotel for one appointment that’s going to take maybe an hour tops feels a little like extortion, so, it was a there-and-back kind of trip. That would have been fine, had the appointment not been cancelled! Imagine turning up and them, NOPE, sorry, your appointment was cancelled and we didn’t even call, so sorry that you just came all the way here on a train and two taxis only to be told a clinician had called in sick. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.

That whole thing messed me up pretty badly. It triggered a pain flare and I caught a cold, for starters. Moreover, it really upset me and drained all the spoons I would have needed to pace my month better. So it left me really struggling before the month even started. Fun.

The rescheduled appointment came through a week or so later, for the 1st December. I almost just rearranged it because, honestly, I just don’t have the spoons for this shit! But, I knew it would just be another source of anxiety, so I went ahead and accepted the appointment. Hopefully I can plan my energy better this time now I know that a day in London like that is utterly crushing. It’s also upsetting, you know? London is one of my favourite places and it’s now completely inaccessible for me. I can’t easily go to any of the places I want, having a wheelchair in London is so stressful and now I can’t just hop on the Tube, navigation is a nightmare. I’m usually pretty good at handling all the ways my life has been changed by my chronic illness/disability, but London’s still a sore topic that’s generally left ignored. I can’t fix it, can’t make London magically more accessible to me, and I’m not going to stop loving it any time soon, so really it’s best if we just don’t talk any more.

In other medical news, after being told I needed an intensive course of B12, followed by a course of folic acid (in that order, else nerve damage was a real risk), I needed to schedule in five intramuscular injections with the nurse. I don’t go to my surgery; I’m lucky enough that Dr S comes to see me (in his lunch break) and I can avoid the awkwardness and distress of having to go and be at the surgery. But not this time. Dr S couldn’t do these for me and after a bad experience with the district nurse’s attitude, it was easier for me to just suck it up and go. It wasn’t easy, but at least they’re done, and 3/5 times it was the Nice Nurse instead of the Kinda Bitchy Nurse. Unfortunately, the Nice Nurse hurt when she did the injections.

I wasn’t expecting anything to suddenly change or even improve through the B12 injections—and I wasn’t wrong. No increase in energy, no reduction in pain, no nothing. Sure, my body needs that stuff so that’s a positive, but that’s all that came of it. What I’d like to know more is why my B12 levels were so low in the first place and what we’re doing about tracking it. Buuuut, since it’s one of those things where I expect to have to insist to the Dr that the injections made no difference, it’s not something I’m looking forward to.

Honestly, I’m just really, really tired of trying to approach doctors from a million different angles to get them to listen. And after the rheumatologist said one thing in a letter, another in person and a third, different thing on the phone, it’s hard to know what’s going on or where to start.

The run-up to the holidays is always a mixture of “yay!” and “oh dear sweet gods I’m already exhausted”, but I think that this year I’ll have more of an idea how to pace myself and I know how to prioritise myself and self-care better than I did last year. Aka, last year was the last time I’ll bother celebrating Christmas for the benefit of others, and will just stick to Yule and cut down on any additional stress between then and New Year. It’s frustrating, really, that you only learn how to pace properly, by royally screwing up with pacing to begin with. Because why would this stuff make itself easy, huh?

I’m going to try get into the habit of doing both a monthly round up and a separate monthly round up, hoping that it’ll help me get my thoughts organised about medical stuff and track progress, since I’m pretty terrible at tracking time and sometimes, before I now it, I’ve been meaning to arrange an appointment with the doctor for three months when I think it’s only been a week. Mostly this is because it’s just so damn draining trying to communicate with doctors—especially after the colossal waste of time the rheumatologist proved to be, who then simply left me hanging without even a referral elsewhere or a letter back to Dr S that did any good.

The nicer, fluffier and altogether less irritating update for November will follow soon. (Probably.)

Bi Visibility Week – On Being Bi/Pan-(romantic)

bi-flagSo apparently being bisexual is frowned upon by many (ridiculously rude and shitty) people. Honestly, though, even having to type that is so ridiculous that I almost deleted it twice. Because it doesn’t seem like it should be true. But it is true–biphobia is a big thing. I’m lucky enough that,  in the circles I move in, I’m not subjected to it at all in my personal offline life (my friends are literally all varieties of queer; and this happened organically, without any of us knowing about one another’s queerness before we met, and without meeting in a specific queer community or setting), but I know from basically existing in the world and online that people get twitchy (and paranoid and downright nasty) about bisexuality. They get mean about bisexuality. Really mean.

Before we go any further, repeat after me: bisexuals are not confused or greedy or going through a phase. Bisexuality is a valid sexuality; we exist and we are here and there is no qualifying “test” or lifestyle checklist we have to complete.

And once again for those in the back: bisexuals are not confused or greedy or going through a phase.

OK, good.

Men who are bisexual are faking and are actually gay and women who are bisexual are straight and faking liking women (funny how the world revolves around we dudefolk, isn’t it? (Except that it’s not funny at all…)).Of course this is incorrect and also so incredibly damaging. To constantly invalidate someone’s sexual preference–especially when said sexuality can be easily erased or hidden (being “straight-passing” or “gay-passing” depending on relationship status)–is cruel and hurtful and damaging.

If you like one or more gender(s), then, congratulations! You’re bisexual. Bisexual guy married to a woman? Are you still bi? You betcha! Same if you’re a bisexual woman and married to a man. And this works for bisexual people who “pass as gay” by being in a relationship with people of their own gender. They’re all bisexual and they’re all valid.

Some people use pansexual synonymously with bisexual (though many don’t)–and I’m one of them. Whilst I don’t technically identify as bisexual (note the emphasis) or pansexual (again, emphasis), I do identify as panromantic.

Yep, that’s right: it’s the sexual part that becomes the deal-breaker. I am definitely attracted to pretty much any person of any gender whatsoever–therefore making me very bi/pan–but in my case, the attraction is as far as it goes. I’m asexual (there will be a post on this in the near future) and therefore would usually rather read a book or eat oatmeal or honestly just pet a cat instead of engaging in any business relating to the between-the-sheets activity. I’m just not interested.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to how people look or the notion of them as romantic possibilities. Asexual simply implies that, when it comes to the down-and-dirty, I don’t harbour any real interest or physical desire. It’s not simply a matter of choosing to abstain, but a literal physical, emotional and mental disinterest in the deed, generally speaking. Sure, many asexual people still have physical relations with their partners (whether to have kids, or simply because they enjoy–but do not feel pressured into–making their partners happy, or even because, however often they feel like it, they don’t mind having sex with people they’re in a stable relationship with), but the cinching point for many is that we are simply not that bothered by the idea. 

I could go on, but then I could also write whole essays about asexuality, and this is all about being bi this week. So…

Regardless of my asexuality, I consider myself bi/pan. Strictly speaking, I do prefer the term bi/panromantic, but most of the time our dialogue on sexuality doesn’t stretch to inclusion of these terms (or any terms that fall outside of allosexuality, for that matter) because there isn’t a widespread acknowledgement of the difference between physical sexual desire and the magnetic pull of one person’s heart towards another’s (purely romantic attraction; attraction to a person based on who they are as a soul, instead of a physical, sexual being).

Yes, this is crappy, but since my panromantic-ness isn’t a performance for anyone/thing, I’m perfectly comfortable broadly identifying as bi alongside asexual. I’m open about most things, so if people really get confused by the seeming contradiction of bisexual asexuality, they can always ask if it’s that big a deal!

I’ve always been comfortable in my happy little bi self. I’ve had relationships/harboured attraction towards people of quite literally every gender variant, including straight people, gay people and those that fall somewhere between. But it’s also not something I realised was a Thing until far later than I should have. With little to no bi rep in the media I grew up on, it’s no wonder that, years later, I’m looking back at what seemed to be peculiar crushes on other people of my own gender, wondering if what was really happening was my own burgeoning bisexuality.

There’s still so little representation of bisexual people in our media. I can likely name more gay characters than I can bisexual–which is a big problem. Gay rep is very important, yes, but bi rep deserves just as much attention. In a way, since it can be a complex issue, it arguably deserves more attention. Conveying a same-gender relationship is easy: boy meets boy, or girl meets girl. Easy. But a bisexual relationship, to be explored on the page as a sexuality, needs a little more, unless a character is constantly reaffirming their own preference. This is why we need #ownvoices authors telling our stories: I don’t think it would be possible for me to write something without a queer character, because it’s such an integral part of who I am, it comes so naturally to the characters I write.

But it is important to acknowledge bi characters when we see them, and to not fall into the systemic biphobic habits of labeling these characters as gay or straight depending on their current preference/history of relationships, and thereby denying them the deserved and valid identity of queer.

I did this recently, having lamented the lack of queer rep in one of my favourite series. I fell into the trap of taking away a character’s queerness by not considering their bisexuality as being “queer enough”. Which is really, really crappy of me, let’s me fair. Yet, this is the systemic bi-erasure hard at work, right there. I’m talking about Aedion Ashryver in Sarah J Maas’ Throne of Glass series, which now features a queer character as part of the main cast. Bisexuality is valid. Aedion Ashryver is valid.

Aedion is my current bookish crush. And he’s a great crush for me to have, as a bi guy, because he is also bisexual. It matters. His past relationship with a member of the Bane is important but in no way invalidates his current feelings towards a female character. Aedion wasn’t gay when he dated the soldier and he isn’t straight now he’s attracted to a woman. He is–just as he has always been–bisexual. Having a crush on a fellow bi hottie feels good, because there’s the notion that the character gets me, gets my sexuality. That’s really important.

I don’t have many bookish crushes (girl or guy), and perhaps my asexuality tempers any attraction based purely on how a character looks or presents, but I think it’s more that the characters I could crush on feel unattainable. With bisexuality so easily erased across the board, it’s easy to feel invalidated as a bisexual person, when the choice of crushes leans either towards gay imaginary romance or straight imaginary romance.

That’s not to say that bisexual people will always want to/need to date other bisexuals, but with this ingrained sense of biphobia, it’s little wonder that those who identify as bisexual will do so openly around only those they trust the most, or they may conceal that part of themselves altogether, lest they be judged for their preferences. The gay and straight communities are equally guilty of this treatment.

There are many married men and women in my circles who are bi, but rarely consider/announce themselves as queer, even though their letter (the B) is right there in the LGBT+ acronym. That’s hugely problematic.

In the same way that the L and G seem to come together and form one big gay supervillain, bent on stealing the focus and attention entirely for themselves, whilst the other letters are shoved into the background, taught to be grateful for whatever scraps of (often bad) representation they’re given, any focus on the gender elements of the queer/LGBTQIA spectrum are similarly often forgotten. Indeed, talk of “queer rep” is so often reduced to simply “gay rep”, which is telling in and of itself.

Queerness is about so much more than who you’re attracted to and shouldn’t be reduced to an overarching label of “GAY”. There’s a lot of work to do, but hey, hopefully with more attention on the important issues of queerness, through awareness periods such as Bi Visibility Week, maybe we’ll eventually gain some ground and open the dialogue all the wider for it.

And before I go, once again:

Bisexuality is valid. Bisexuality is valid. Bisexuality is valid. Bisexuality is valid. 

 

 

Nine Worlds Geekfest 2016: Part 1

This is part one of my Nine Worlds Geekfest write up, since my experience of any con or event will be be a two-fold thing: accessibility, and general enjoyment. Naturally, these two can heavily coincide, but since Nine Worlds was pretty amazing, with nothing of the former impacting the latter, I’m going to dedicate one whole post to the accessibility of it, since it deserves the notice. Seriously: the accessibility team and the work they did was out of this world. Big, enthusiastic “thumbs up” to the accessibility peeps. They nailed it.

14256347_926923737412743_526412203_nSo I’ve never been to a geek convention like Nine Worlds before. Sure, I’ve vaguely attended anime cons but honestly, they’re not even comparable. (The UK doesn’t really do great anime cons.)

I would have attended this year even if I’d not been aware of the communication system they have in place. But it certainly helped put my anxious mind at ease, knowing that I would, in theory, be able to go around with my big red badge of NOPE and remain off the radar for any well-meaning conversational types looking for a chat or even just a casual passing word.

If I’d only had the anxiety by itself to deal with then I’d have done far more than I did. As it happens, chronic illness doesn’t just go away because you’re trying to have a good time and step out of your comfort zone for once, so there were times I missed stuff because I wasn’t well enough.

Even before arriving at Nine Worlds, it felt different. I don’t have a lot of experience with things like this, but I could just tell that it was open and accessible and that I’d feel safe there being “different” (in my case, disabled, not NT and also queer). Even if you just take into account the fact that I’m horribly introvert and have massive social anxiety to deal with, Nine Worlds presents such a safe space,  by means of their communication system. Not only is the system of coloured badge overlays very simple, but it is also advertised: people can’t miss the fact that this exists. Yes, there was a single time where someone talked to me and I wasn’t happy about it, but, on the whole, the badge system is amazing and it made me feel safe.

It’s also worth adding that you can have pronouns added to a badge, to help with any awkward/upsetting situations that might arise. I had a standard badge without pronouns, but I assume that pronouns are simply written on the blank badge the same way names are (meaning you can have a different name on your badge to any other details you might have needed to give).

Nine Worlds works as hard as it can to be an accessible con, for both visible and invisible disabilities, as well as anything from deafness to sensory overload issues. It really shouldn’t be the case that I’m (in a good way!) singling out a convention or event to say “yes, they care about accessibility and safety”, but the Nine Worlds team really does give a damn. With closed sessions for both PoC and queer peeps, you really get the impression that they know what’s up with the world and with the geek community. They get that there’s work to be done, and they’re willing to do it. Hell, that in itself is enough to make me want to go again, even without the fact that it was also a really, really great convention.

As I said, I’ve not been to one before, so I can’t judge others (outside of the horror stories I see on social media), but there’s something that seems just so inclusive about Nine Worlds. From the accessible seating set aside at various intervals in panel rooms (that’s right – these spaces aren’t just at the front of the room, but spread out amidst the regular seating, too., just as the spaces reserved for wheelchairs are) to a quiet room and the teeny reminder on their accessible seating signs that not all disabilities are visible, Nine Worlds are seriously on point with getting this stuff right.

There was one lift that could have been too small for some wheelchairs, so they advertised this and set up special arrangements to help those whose chairs were too big get around. It’s difficult to think of just what else they could have done!

It’s hard to stress just how much of a difference that red badge made to me. Whilst it didn’t entirely solve my social anxiety issues (which are fairly complex and multi-layered, and I’ll likely cover them in another post soon), it helped immeasurably. Part of my anxiety is related to being seen and so obviously there’s nothing that anything short of a cloak of invisibility could do to help with that–but! That didn’t mean that the knowledge that nobody would talk to me didn’t help. No chance of chit-chat in the lifts; freedom to browse the Expo with nobody trying to hawk anything or start a conversation; no worry about people I know thinking “hey! That’s Leo!” and coming to say hello if I wasn’t ready. All these fears were immediately eliminated.

I can imagine for other people who struggle with social anxiety or peopling, that the idea of being able to wear a badge that keeps you “off limits” is just ridiculously reassuring. Imagine being able to toddle from your hotel room, down into the lift, wearing your big red badge of NOPE, knowing that you might be ferried down through hotel with nary a word spoken to your person, both as you make your way to the panel you’re attending, as well as during, after and for the rest of the convention, if you so wish. Anyone with a red badge is perfectly welcome to initiate conversations with anyone they feel comfortable, but there is absolutely no obligation and neither will there be the fear of being rude if you’re not able to talk or socialise. The badge does all that for you. It’s genius, really.

I’d say it’s worth expecting someone to accidentally speak to you whilst wearing the badge, but it’s difficult to say whether it will happen or not, since the circumstances were so very specific with me, and, though I’m still trying to decide if the person in question recognised me from social media or not, it wasn’t a conversation as much as a passing remark. It wasn’t great, but it didn’t do any harm overall (likely because the person may have realised and shuffled off after the fact, or, because it was intended as a passing remark in any case). Anyone who wants to put their faith in this badge system, can indeed do so. It worked and it felt safe. There’s not a lot more you can ask for, really.

 

 

Life in Leoland – The Reboot

2016-05-23 14.18.51So I’ve had this blog for a long time now, but between being diagnosed with chronic illnesses and becoming disabled, I ended up splitting myself between two blogs (Jet Black Ink here, and what was formerly The Secret Life of Fibro Boy). I did this for two reasons: 1) I felt completely out of touch with writing/reviewing, so didn’t want to/couldn’t talk about that and 2) I had the impression that I had to keep my chronic illness posts separate.

Now, I’m not actually terrible at blogging. I like writing, whether it’s conversational blather that nobody (bar me) cares about, reviews, musing, or serious talk about other things. But what I’m not great at, is separating content or keeping up with too many separate projects in different places. The attempt to keep the chronic illness posts away from Jet Black Ink probably resulted in this blog gathering a lot of dust and fading a little into the abyss. Of course, I managed to keep up with some reviews (mostly ARCs, for obvious reasons (mainly the crushing guilt of not reviewing them in a timely fashion, negl)) and so I didn’t completely stop posting, but I certainly wasn’t posting as I wanted to. I wasn’t really blogging.

But then on the other hand, I found that the way I was posting about my chronic illnesses and disability on The Secret Life of Fibro Boy actually started to distress me. Not only did I realise I was keeping these two areas of my life completely separate (which is so, so stupid of me: as if I can separate myself and what I love–writing, books, geeky, nerdy things–from the fact that I’m sick and disabled). This had a negative effect on me that I only noticed afterwards. I’d even separated my Twitter activity into @Leo_Cristea (Me) and @Fibro_Boy (My Illnesses). I was trying to be two different people. It… didn’t work. One of those accounts is now barren and bereft. Guess which one.

Originally I’d chosen “The Secret Life of Fibro Boy” to be a nod towards the fact that my illnesses are invisible, but before long, I think I realised it was more an expression of the fact that I thought I had to be secretive about my disabilities; that I couldn’t talk about those issues alongside the rest of me. That was a pretty damaging mentality.

That’s all out the window now: I’m going to blog every day throughout (Bl)August and aim for at least a weekly roundup of how things are kicking in Leoland thereafter. In the coming weeks I’ll be talking more concisely about chronic illness and Spoonie life, trying to give an insight into how to deal with it without losing yourself or the things you love.

New Wheelchair and Attempting #Blaugust

2016-06-19 20.09.11What better than a little incentive to start a) blogging more regularly and b) training myself out of thinking that each blog post I write needs to be five million words long and eligible for the Man Booker Prize?

Mostly I’ll just be blogging/reviewing as per usual, but I’m trying to get into the habit of more frequent posting about me and my life in general, relating to books, writing and disability. (Of course it remains to be seen if I’ll actually manage it,  but there we have it!)

But let’s start off with good news: I got my new wheelchair! After the very generous donations given through my GoFundMe whatsit, I got the pennies to buy myself a brand new wheelchair that is lighter, stronger (and therefore smoother and less wobbly) and comes with all-terrain mountain bike style wheels that promise to make parks and hills and all manner of previously-awkward terrain accessible again. I’ve only had the chance to use it a few times so far, but it’s so very different and immeasurably more comfortable than my old one. It’s light and feels less restrictive to sit in, which is definitely a bonus. It feels like there’s more me and less wheelchair, which is something I didn’t even know could be a thing.

I’m excited to take it with me to Nine Worlds Geek Fest next week (oh, gods, I’m not even close to being ready) and feel that if I am up to adventuring around London a little, I won’t need to worry about the terrain and bumpiness of unfamiliar and/or uneven streets.

I am incredibly grateful to anyone who donated, beyond words, in fact, since it’s always the worry that you’re asking for too much, isn’t it? Well, here I am with my new wheels and they’ve already started to make a noted difference to how my pain is managed when I’m sitting in it outside. I have high hopes for long durations spent in the ‘chair at Nine Worlds, where I’ll be in it far, far more than I usually am.

So, thank you again to anyone who donated or shared the GoFundMe link–you have my eternal gratitude and the promise that, should I ever actually regain my throne as the long-lost prince of the faerie kingdoms, I’ll send my house-cleaning legions of brownies your way.

And as for Blaugust? I’ve been meaning to blog more, so this seems a pretty good incentive to kick that frequency up a notch. The goal is to post more specifically about life in Leoland and navigating chronic illness and disability whilst also being an anxious creative who really, really sucks at one thing all spoonies need: rest!

Wheelchair Fund

wc01017_excel_allterrain_outdoor_selfpropelled_wheelchair (2)

This is the Excel All-Terrain Outdoor SP wheelchair

So I started a GoFundMe for a new wheelchair. I was nervous about doing so for a few reasons, not least of all: what if nobody cares? why should anyone give me money? I feel bad asking for things! Shouldn’t I just be grateful I have a wheelchair at all?

But then I went ahead and made the campaign anyway. Yes, I’m worried that I’m just one tiny person on the Internet, and not very well-known, even (especially?) within the chronic illness and disabled communities, so it would feel like shouting into the wind. Yes, I worried that I’ll be sitting here, afraid that I’ll be sitting here feeling fairly invisible and that those feelings of inadequacy will lead me down the familiar paths of yes, but shouldn’t I be grateful for my current wheelchair? and Isn’t it just vain or selfish to want a better wheelchair so I can do more things?

Well, in fact, no–to both.

Of course I am absurdly grateful for the wheelchair I have. It gave me a measure of my former capacity to live as I want back. But that’s all it gave me: a measureAdditionally, the wheelchair is old and rickety when sitting in it. It’s not comfortable, can exacerbate pain and is extremely limiting in where it can be wheeled/pushed. So yes, whilst it means that with this chair I can go out when before, I could only go out and stay in the car, it also means that I’m still unable to do even the most simple of things.

The current wheelchair I have is horribly unreliable on any terrain that isn’t a flat, even surface. And really, when was the last time you went into your local town or village (or any town or village!) and found a place where the pavement was flat, on each and every street? My town is relatively well-kept and even so, there are so many areas that I hate visiting because I know that I’ll be jostled and jolted and generally would rather avoid due to the wheelchair being ill-equipped.

Needless to say, many of the places I would love to visit are completely off the table for me. I don’t want to be unable to travel afield of home just because my wheelchair is inadequate. I feel trapped enough dealing with my social anxiety and the realities of disability and chronic illness, without also being limited by where I can go. I’ve been feeling very caged for a long time, with places like parks and new places (where I don’t know what the terrain is like, and therefore can’t anticipate how my wheelchair will handle it) completely inaccessible for me. It’s crushing to want to try to break out of my shell, finally, and to want to be at least a little adventurous, only to find that even now I feel that mentally I can, physically I still can’t.

It’s not fair that I can’t do even the simplest of things without the risk of exacerbated pain and even injury, just because my wheelchair is unsuitable. When I was given it through my doctor (which I’m still very grateful for, of course!), I was told it would potentially lessen my social anxieties by being a wheelchair that spoke of “an injury, such as a broken leg” instead of a disability.

Whilst I completely understood what my Dr was going for (and at the time, it was very relevant!), the reality is that I am disabledI’m not someone with an injury who needs the wheelchair for a brief period of time whilst an injury heals.

I am disabled and I need my wheelchair whenever I leave the house. And it’s starting to become more and more stressful because of how uncomfortable and unsuitable the wheelchair actually is. All I want is to be able to live as normally as possible, in relation to what that means for me. I want to be able to travel and explore cities and towns as much as I want to be able to go off road into parks and the countryside where I live.

Really, I just want as few limitations as possible. That’s all. I’m going to London in a few weeks to attend Nine Worlds Geekfest (which is my first convention since becoming disabled) and I’m nervous, because I don’t see my wheelchair holding up well in London, meaning I won’t be able to go to many of the places I’d like. The convention will likely be amazing, but I’ll still be very limited to just the hotel, which is kind of disheartening.

So if you feel you can help at all, please do! You’ll have my genuine and eternal gratitude for any help you can give–whether that’s money to help towards the chair itself, or simply sharing this post and/or RTing what I post on Twitter.

A new wheelchair will help change everything for me. Thanks for reading!

Fairy Loot Unboxing: May [High fantasy theme]

What is Fairy Loot
Well, it’s probably one of the most awesome and amazing things I’ve discovered recently. It is a book loot subscription box that focuses entirely on YA Fantasy. Which is, needless to say, absolutely perfect for me. (And my brother, with whom I share books and general fanboying about said books.)

fairylootmay#1It’s taken me forever to actually get around to doing this. Mostly because I’ve been stupid busy and pushing myself way, way too hard–but that’s pretty much what my life is made of and it’s not about to change. So… that’s a thing.

I saw that Fairy Loot was a thing by complete chance not that long ago (on Twitter, of course…) and we (my bookish brother and I, who share all things books) were too late to get the April box, so waited and snatched one as soon as we could in May. We were a little hesitant, knowing that most of the people who buy the Fairy Loot boxes are girls. I’m definitely not the most masculine of guys, but I was a little ummy and ahhhy about whether or not the subscription box was for me. I decided, “hey, so what if there are a few really feminine things in it? Give it a shot!” And so we split the box and went ahead with our first one in May. I was particularly into the High Fantasy theme and that was a big incentive.

I’m super glad we went for it, because it’s so good. Okay, there was like, a single thing that we didn’t want (not didn’t like, because it’s cool and all, it just doesn’t fit my brother’s wrist and it’s a bit… faffy and dainty for me, but hey, it looks nice enough and it’s easy enough to just customise it myself, so that’s fine) but that was literally it. Literally.

It was well worth getting the box and I’m ridiculously excited for June’s box, with the theme of Classic TwistNeedless to say, we’ve already split the sub for July–which has the incredible theme of Pirates and Power

fairylootmay2Plus, the boxes themselves are gorgeous. So, what exactly did I get in May’s High Fantasy Fairy Loot box?

  • Ruined, by Amy Tintera (which wasn’t actually released until 2nd June in the UK, so it was an ARC! It’s also hardcover and came with a signed bookplate to stick in, and a bookmark as swag as well as some gorgeous art from the book)
  • A cool abstracty art thing of Legolas, which is green and white and already hanging in the book nook space in the study
  • A random mini figurine from Game of Thones (I got Brienne, which is great, because she is awesome. Even though I don’t like GoT, the figures are cute so I didn’t mind at all.)
  • An exclusive dragon bracelet from My Clockwork Castle
  • A happy fanart chibi of Krem from Dragon Age: Inquisition, which is really, really cool, by Sparks Reactor (findable on Etsy and other places!)
  • A cute dragon mirror thing, from MelissaNettleshipwhich is stupidly useful for getting up close and applying eyeliner when you’re actually pretty terrible at applying even the simplest of gothy eye makeup as well as being able to apply concealer to hide awful spoonie fatigue, so hey, cute mirror!
  • fairylootmay4A really great letter from the author that made me super happy because she even mentioned boys who don’t mind being saved by princesses and that’s totally me OK so that was good

I loved the Fairy Loot box for May so much. I’m excited to receive the one for June shortly. And then July…

I’ve not read the book yet, but I can’t wait to start on it. I also can’t wait to amass a collection of Fairy Loot boxes, because they’re pretty awesome.

fairylootmay3I meant to do this unboxing post a gazillion years ago, but hey, better late than never. Hopefully for the next box, my brother and I will be starting our joint book vlog, so there’ll be a video unboxing as well. Hopefully.